"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

"Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse."

"Why is it when we talk to God we're praying -- but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them."

"I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain."

"What's reality anyway? Nothing but a collective hunch."

"Beware the pull on your heartstrings -- it's often the pursestrings that are actually being reached for."

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."

"All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit."

"Simply pushing harder within the old boundaries will not do."

"Turn your midlife crisis to your own advantage by making it a time for renewal of your body and mind, rather than stand by helplessly and watch them decline."

"MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart."