"I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect."

"Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years."

"Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair."

"Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."

"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there."

"The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one."

"You may regret your silence once, but you will regret your words often."

"When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth."

"I try to know what I need to know. I make sure to know what I want to know."

"Science knows no country, because knowledge belongs to humanity, and is the torch which illuminates the world."

"One can always point to a time, a choice, an act that set the tone for a life and changed a personal destiny."