"When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not."

"It takes 15,000 nuts to hold a car together, but only one to spread it all over the highway."

"Violence is a tool of the ignorant."

"Funny is an attitude."

"You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine."

"The devil made me do it."

"I think it is good that books still exist, but they make me sleepy."

"To write simply is as difficult as to be good."

"REFLECTION, n. An action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter."

"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."

"I am into parallel monogamy."

"Envy is what makes you, when an aquaintance is lustily telling you that she's dating a Greek god of a guy, ask, 'Which one, Hades?'"