"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."

"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."

"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there."

"Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angles to San Francisco live there?"

"The trouble with Oakland is that when you get there, it's there."

"All American cars are basically Chevrolets."

"Mothers, food, love, and career, the four major guilt groups."

"Be wise with speed . A fool at forty is a fool indeed."

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost."

"Sweet are the slumbers of the virtuous man."

"Before a man can wake up and find himself famous he has to wake up and find himself."

"The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance."