"Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street."

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing."

"A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist."

"A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join."

"Editor: a person employed on a newspaper whose business it is to seperate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed."

"If men could only know each other, they would neither idolize nor hate."

"Talent is like electricity. We don't understand electricity. We use it."

"If I'm supposed to carry the banner for all the nerds in the world, I'm fine with that."

"Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh."

"Since we cannot match it let us take our revenge by abusing it."

"Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid it will never begin."