"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."

"Nietsche is Pietsche.'"

"Progress might have been all right once, but it went on too long."

"The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!"

"When there are monsters there are miracles."

"He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples."

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

"Here at least we shall be free. . . Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven."

"Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief."

"There's no business like show business."

"Success isn't measured by the position you reach in life: it's measured by the obstacles you overcome."